Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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