New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
