I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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