We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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