Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
