YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
