he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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