Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
