: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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