i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
