Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
