I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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