Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
