How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
