I molested 6 butterflies tonight
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
