can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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