two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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