Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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