i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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