If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Even my vagina gasped.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
