i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
