you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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