she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
