escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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