I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
