That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
