who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
