I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
