This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
