do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
