you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
