just tell him i said nine months
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
