did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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