is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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