anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
