is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
