Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
