I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
