He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
