so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize