Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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