the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
