why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize