Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
