We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
