my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
