dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
