I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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