I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
