If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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