There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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