i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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